The Pain of Love that Heals...

REAL CHRISTIAN LOVE SOMETIMES HURTS BUT ALSO HEALS

By Ezekiel Kimosop

I am presently going through the letter of Second Corinthians in my devotions. Allow me to share with you my reflections on a passage from Chapter Two.

My study of 2 Corinthians 2:1-11 reveals that Paul was responding to some issues arising from his first letter which he had admittedly written under deep anguish and pain of heart considering the issues at hand.

Paul was deeply hurt by the divisions among the Corinthian assemblies as well as the moral issues that were brought to his attention by one of the members whose assembly gathered at the household of Chloe. Chloe must have been a trusted Christian elder who hosted this assembly in his home (1 Corinthians 1:11).

Paul was careful to reveal that he was not feeding on rumours on the church issues but had received information from a reliable and trusted source.

He wrote to condemn the divisions and to rebuke the Corinthians for their lack of spiritual wisdom in fostering divisions and factions in their midst. He underscored that all believers ultimately to belonged to Christ irrespective of who was over them in leadership.

1 Corinthians 1:13 carries Paul's three rhetorical questions that reveal his pain and disappointment over the Corinthian conflicts.

He laments: "Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?"

Paul also condemned the sexual immortality and permissiveness that was reportedly prevalent among the Corinthians and ordered for the excommunication of the immoral brother as a lesson to others that sexual immorality would not be condoned among believers (1 Corinthians 5:1-13).

The third issue that captured Paul's attention was the mishandling of internal conflicts  among believers which touched on the Christian assembly members. Could this be possibly part of the wider leadership conflicts earlier identified? The passage context appears to suggest that these were ordinary leadership disputes among the believers.

Paul directed that all Christian conflicts should be resolved through established church tribunals and other resolution mechanism rather than resorting to civilian courts. He was protecting the reputation and Christian witness of the believers.

Now back to our passage of 2 Corinthians 2:1-11...

We notice that Paul was now conciliatory in his tone, having learnt of the negative impact his previous letter had occasioned.

We learn from this passage that Paul realized that his noble intentions in writing the first letter were possibly misunderstood by some of the recipients. He admits that he wrote under great pain and distress and this inescapably affected his communication.

Paul states in 2 Corinthians 2:4 "For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you."

Paul was deeply taken by emotion and his letter loudly revealed  his anguish. 1 Corinthians 1:10 captures his opening address on the divisions and what follows was his bold and well deserved rebuke. He was being human even as he judged issues presented to him.

The apostle went on to address the excommunication issue in 2 Corinthians 2:4-8. His apostolic instructions on the matter appear to have been misunderstood by sections of the Corinthian leadership to wrongly imply that the immoral brother had been permanently expelled from the Christian fellowship.

This led to the isolation of the brother for far too long perhaps for lack of wisdom on how to restore him into fellowship.

Paul directs the Corinthians to restore the brother and reaffirm their love for him in Christ. He confirms that the decision was with his apostolic blessings and should not be taken with any fear or doubt.

APPLICATION

My point in analysing this passage is to recognize that Christian leaders are human. They make lots mistakes just as we do. Leaders may overreact on certain issues or take decisions by impulse in some trying circumstances.

They may also be given to emotion and for this they should be sincere in their interpersonal dealings with the flock.

If they hurt where they meant well, there should be efforts toward forgiveness, reconciliation and healing.

Paul took bold steps in moderating the Corinthian situation using his second letter and this resulted in his address being more conciliatory.

He however firmly stood by the truths of God's word regarding the moral standards for God's people. We should never compromise on biblical truth.

Paul did not regret taking the decision to condemn the divisions or to order for excommunication of the immoral brother.

He was only concerned with the perceptions that followed his harsh tone conveyed in his first letter and for this he decided to make amends. Good leaders reflect on decisions they take and have the humility to admit their mistakes and seek amends.

The spiritual truths conveyed in this passage have deeply shaken my worldview not just as a minister but also as a believer who interacts with others.

I have learnt that there are things I often take for granted when communicating or making leadership decisions. People may not always come out to give feedback all the time but where this happens, [and indeed we need effective feedback systems] or where I am convicted in my spirit concerning a particular matter, I must be prepared to heal the hurts I have caused by my impudence; the pain I may have unknowingly inflicted upon others even with noble intentions.

Someone said that communication is not about what you say but how you say it! 

We are therefore obligated as Christian to take stock of responses to our handling of issues within our spheres of responsibility and seek to correct the excesses, the angers, the tantrums, that we may occasionally throw in the name of God. They hurt.

I once had a boss who used to summon section heads and would shout at us when he was stressed, especially after being quarreled by the CEO over issues touching on our department.

My boss would throw all manner of epithets and unsavory words in rage for about ten minutes and dismiss us from his office with a bang on his desk saying he will no longer babysit us!

Interestingly this boss would later call us back after he had cooled down and would profusely apologize for the harsh language he employed in his anger. We would also take the opportunity to apologize to him for our part in causing his pain.

We would return to our desks not only having learnt from our mistakes but also being thankful that our boss meant well for us even when he was shouting at us.

Let me conclude by saying that real love hurts but also heals. Paul meant well for the Corinthians and he declared as much.

If you mean well for those under you, you will care to make amends where you have hurt them in your anger.

Do you carry any pain in your heart that was inflicted by a Christian leader who admonished you in church?

Please forgive them for they possibly meant well but simply stretched out too hard in addressing the conflict.

It is advisable to seek an opportunity to discuss the issue and reconcile rather than walking in hurt.

Real love hurts but also heals....

© Ezekiel Kimosop Teaching Series 2018