Who is a Spiritual Father?

WHO IS A SPIRITUAL FATHER AND HOW SHOULD WE RELATE WITH THEM?

By Ezekiel Kimosop

INTRODUCTION

A spiritual father is a honorific title confered upon a person who raised a believer in the Lord and/or in ministry.

He may simply be a mentor or a mature Christian who was instrumental in shaping the moral and spiritual worldview of the believer in the Lord or in Christian ministry.

One can have more than one mentor at various stages of their Christian faith and service. All these men and women have their specific points of impact on the spiritual and moral development of the believer or minister.

Paul was a spiritual father to several New Testament ministers that he raised in the Lord and trained in ministry.

Timothy was one of Paul's prominent spiritual sons that Paul often fondly spoke of.

However, Timothy's mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois also played a big role in his spiritual and moral upbringing and Paul acknowledged their input in his Scripture writings.

2 Timothy 1:5-6 says "when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also" (NKJV).

Paul also recognized the impact of traditional Jewish spiritual training on Timothy's life.

In 2 Timothy 3:15-16, Paul exhorts Timothy saying "But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, 15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus" (NKJV).

The Holy Scriptures contemplated here are the Old Testament Scriptures (aka the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Old Testament Scriptures).

HOW SHOULD WE RELATE WITH SPIRITUAL FATHERS?

This is a critical question given the influence of some spiritual leaders in the lives of people they raised in ministry.

This influence can have both a positive and negative impact on believers, depending on how it is directed or maintained.

We shall examine the spiritual fatherhood relationship using three questions:

1) Should a spiritual father always exercise spiritual authority over those he mentored in ministry?

My considered view is that a spiritual father should allow his students to move on and serve God once he has sufficiently instructed them. He should permit reasonable Independence for them so that they too can grow in ministry.

He should not exercise any spiritual authority over the believer or minister unless the believer is a member of his congregation or is a minister serving under his oversight in his communion.

Even in this case, the spiritual father should be considerate and should not be unduly overbearing.

Paul was Timothy's spiritual father but nowhere in Scripture is it taught or implied that he made any demands over Timothy or ordered him around.

Paul exhorted Timothy and other ministers in humility and love and always beseeched them with all forbearance even during difficult moments when the exercise of his apostolic authority would have been legitimate.

Notice for instance that Paul was disappointed with Titus who did not meet his expectations. Paul had instructed Titus to appoint elders for the churches in the island of Crete. However, by the time of writing to him, this task had not been concluded and Paul reminded Titus as much (Titus1:5).

Notice that Paul never rebuked Titus for the disappoinment but went on to encourage him to fulfill his missionary task.

Paul was at some point deserted by some of his missionary companions but Paul took the disappoinments with maturity and sobriety.

2 Timothy 4:9-10 says "Be diligent to come to me quickly; 10 for demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica."

Timothy was perhaps Paul's most trusted companion.

Paul fondly referred to Timothy as "our brother" (see 2 Cor. 1:1; Colossians 1:1; Philemon 1:1).

Elsewhere, Timothy is  referred to as "a true son in the faith" (1 Timothy 1:2); and "fellow worker" (Romans 16:21).

During the Corinthian conflict, Paul reminded the Corinthians that he was their spiritual father who begot them in Christ through the gospel (1 Cor. 4:15).

This was perhaps a polite message that affirmed that he deserved honor as the founder of the Corinthian assembly.

This had nothing to do with spiritual manipulation or an attempt to assert himself. Paul was the legitimate overseer for all churches in Macedonia and Asia Minor.

Even though Paul was entitled to financial support from the Gentile churches that he founded, he never impossed his will on any church congregation that was under his apostolic oversight.

Even where he made legitimate appeals for support, he had choice of words (cf. 2 Cor. 9).

A few churches were known to offer special support for his missionary work and for this, Paul was grateful. Notice his appreciation for the special support from the Philippians (Philippians 4:10-20).

On some occasions, Paul went without essential ministry supplies and sufferred hunger and other perils. He learned to soldier on even in those trying moments.

In 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, Paul answers his opponents and speaks of some of his lowest moments.

"Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. 24 From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 injourneys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, inperils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— 28 besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. 29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn with indignation?"

2) Does the opinion of spiritual fathers always count?

My view is that the opinions of godly spiritual fathers is indispensable in ministry.

However, there may be some circumstances which require the believer or minister to seek a second or third opinion from other ministers or Christian leaders as well.

The wisdom of spiritual fathers is not exclusive. There are issues that other people may be more conversant with and we should therefore not shy away from consulting them.

3) Should we tithe to our spiritual fathers?

This is a controversial issue for some because of the intricate web that underpins the spiritual fatherhood relationship.

I have some peacher friends who faithfully tithe to their spiritual fathers from all their church collections on monthly basis. This is informed by a sense of gratitude and esteem that they hold towards their mentors.

The controversial bit is that the tithe money is never meant for church ministry but for personal use at the discretion of the spiritual father who receives it in his private capacity and not on behalf of his ministry or congregation.

I must admit that I do not have any biblical authority for this practice. I am therefore hesitant to admit it.

I believe that a spiritual father should be supported on a need basis and where the issue is beyond the capacity of his primary congregation or communion, his spiritual sons and daughters should chip in, voluntarily.

The idea that a church leader who heads an independent church congregation or communion of churches should regularly collect monthly tithes or financial gifts from independent churches led by people he mentored in ministry is, in my view, a strange practice and may perhaps border on ungodly manipulation and control. However, I am not opposed to those who value this arrangement.

Kindly bear in mind that these gifts are never intended for ministry but for personal benefit and that the payments are not recorded in church ministry books!

If the gifts or contributions are intended to support the spiritual father's ministry, then that is a totally different issue.

However, those who are convinced that the practice is a godly thing should follow their convictions.

Those are my thoughts.